October is the perfect time for a horror film, but to my disappointment, there aren't a whole lot of them filmed in the Bay Area. Of course there is the always-outstanding Invasion of the Body Snatchers, but I've already covered that. Thankfully, San Francisco's long-standing tradition of fostering bizarro artistic expression comes to the rescue with 1975's ultra low-budget slasher film Criminally Insane. Also known as Crazy Fat Ethel, which is the title of the remake that is currently in production, it bears several hallmarks of painfully independent filmmaking: it barely limps across the one-hour mark, the audio track is plagued by roving hums, and it is a beloved cult classic. Its brevity also works in my favor as October is usually a pretty frenetic month for me, so this is gonna be short and sweet! Well, comparatively... Starring Priscilla Alden and Lisa Farros, directed by Nick Millard, 1975.
Synopsis
After a torturous stay at a psychiatric hospital, Ethel Janowski is released to the care of her grandmother. Granny, following the doctor's orders, tries to restrict plus-sized Ethel's food intake, but Ethel is having none of it. She spent her hospital stay half-starved, and now nothing will get between her and her Nilla wafers.
NOTHING.
When Ethel disregards Grandma's rules by eating heartily and at will, Grandma resorts to harsher measures: one night, when Ethel rouses herself for a midnight snack, she finds the fridge completely empty and the cupboards secured with a padlock. Desperate, Ethel begins hacking at the lock with a knife. The noise rouses Grandma, who informs Ethel that once she gets down to a lower weight she may have refrigerator privileges again.
Ethel flies into one of her hallmark fits of rage and comes at Grandma with the knife, brutally murdering her. Even so, her cold dead hands refuse to give up the key to the cabinet. Ethel hacks at the hand until the key has been liberated, and celebrates with a snack.
The next morning, Ethel drags Grandma's body into her bedroom and locks the door. Clean-up masterfully exectuted, Ethel calls the local store and orders groceries, promising that she will pay the full $80 owed on their account. However, when the delivery boy shows up with her groceries, Ethel can only produce $4.50. So, she does the next rational thing and hits the delivery boy over the head with a bottle, then stabs him with the broken neck.
Seriously bad timing, though- it's at this exact moment that Ethel's sister Rosalie, hoping to crash at Grandma's again, starts ringing the doorbell. Ethel cleans up as quickly as possible and then lets Rosalie in, claiming that Grandma has gone to visit someone out of town. Rosalie announces she is going to stay for a while, and then steps out for the evening, returning with a man who is obviously her trick.
Ethel flies into one of her hallmark fits of rage and comes at Grandma with the knife, brutally murdering her. Even so, her cold dead hands refuse to give up the key to the cabinet. Ethel hacks at the hand until the key has been liberated, and celebrates with a snack.
The next morning, Ethel drags Grandma's body into her bedroom and locks the door. Clean-up masterfully exectuted, Ethel calls the local store and orders groceries, promising that she will pay the full $80 owed on their account. However, when the delivery boy shows up with her groceries, Ethel can only produce $4.50. So, she does the next rational thing and hits the delivery boy over the head with a bottle, then stabs him with the broken neck.
Seriously bad timing, though- it's at this exact moment that Ethel's sister Rosalie, hoping to crash at Grandma's again, starts ringing the doorbell. Ethel cleans up as quickly as possible and then lets Rosalie in, claiming that Grandma has gone to visit someone out of town. Rosalie announces she is going to stay for a while, and then steps out for the evening, returning with a man who is obviously her trick.
"It's a living."
Rosalie wakes up rough the next morning. She swigs out of a beer can that had doubled as an ashtray, then notices a terrible smell coming from Grandma's room. "Grandma must have shit all over her bed before she left," she logically concludes.
Ethel tries but fails to dig a hole in the backyard to dispose of her growing body collection. She settles on putting an air freshener in Grandma's room. Meanwhile, Roslie's sleazy, abusive ex, John, worms his way back into her heart and her bed.
When Ethel's doctor comes by to ask why she's missed her electroshock appointments, she kills him, too. Into grandma's room he goes! Life goes on as normal- Ethel eats food, John snorts blow off Grandma's fine china, and Rosalie turns tricks. A policeman shows up asking about the grocery delivery boy, who has been reported missing, but Ethel claims she paid him in full and sent him on his way.
Grandma's room is getting crowded- but Ethel's far from done. When they begin to question the terrible odor coming from Grandma's room, Ethel finally snaps and kills both John and Rosalie with a butcher's cleaver. However, she is kind enough to leave them in Rosalie's room and not force them into Grandma's room.
Ethel wakes the next morning between the corpses of John and Rosalie, laughing maniacally while having visions of blood, destruction, and death. Her reverie is disturbed, however, by the appearance of Rosalie's trick, who demands to see her. Yup, into Grandma's room he goes.
A second visit from the policeman has Ethel sweating a bit, so she beings to foray into corpse disposal, beginning with Grandma. Taking her in a sack down the front steps and into the trunk of the car, Ethel drives out to a coastal turnout which looks appropriately steep and perilous. However, every time Ethel tries to throw Grandma over the cliff, another car approaches and she rushes to conceal the body once again. Finally, a family pulls into the pullout and begins posing for a picture. Defeated, Ethel leaves.
Returning home, Ethel strenuously pulls the sack containing Grandma's body up the front steps while a nosy neighbor observes. Not content to watch from her front steps, the neighbor takes a few steps around Ethel's car and screams upon seeing a human hand lying on the ground. Naturally, the police are called, and the officer who had previously questioned Ethel regarding the delivery boy's disappearance arrives at her house for a third time. He cautiously makes his way upstairs, following the horrible smell, until he reaches Grandma's door. He steps in and sees Ethel, surrounded by bodies, blood smeared on her face, with her grandmother's partially-eaten corpse clutched in her hands.
The End.
Ethel tries but fails to dig a hole in the backyard to dispose of her growing body collection. She settles on putting an air freshener in Grandma's room. Meanwhile, Roslie's sleazy, abusive ex, John, worms his way back into her heart and her bed.
When Ethel's doctor comes by to ask why she's missed her electroshock appointments, she kills him, too. Into grandma's room he goes! Life goes on as normal- Ethel eats food, John snorts blow off Grandma's fine china, and Rosalie turns tricks. A policeman shows up asking about the grocery delivery boy, who has been reported missing, but Ethel claims she paid him in full and sent him on his way.
Grandma's room is getting crowded- but Ethel's far from done. When they begin to question the terrible odor coming from Grandma's room, Ethel finally snaps and kills both John and Rosalie with a butcher's cleaver. However, she is kind enough to leave them in Rosalie's room and not force them into Grandma's room.
Ethel wakes the next morning between the corpses of John and Rosalie, laughing maniacally while having visions of blood, destruction, and death. Her reverie is disturbed, however, by the appearance of Rosalie's trick, who demands to see her. Yup, into Grandma's room he goes.
A second visit from the policeman has Ethel sweating a bit, so she beings to foray into corpse disposal, beginning with Grandma. Taking her in a sack down the front steps and into the trunk of the car, Ethel drives out to a coastal turnout which looks appropriately steep and perilous. However, every time Ethel tries to throw Grandma over the cliff, another car approaches and she rushes to conceal the body once again. Finally, a family pulls into the pullout and begins posing for a picture. Defeated, Ethel leaves.
Returning home, Ethel strenuously pulls the sack containing Grandma's body up the front steps while a nosy neighbor observes. Not content to watch from her front steps, the neighbor takes a few steps around Ethel's car and screams upon seeing a human hand lying on the ground. Naturally, the police are called, and the officer who had previously questioned Ethel regarding the delivery boy's disappearance arrives at her house for a third time. He cautiously makes his way upstairs, following the horrible smell, until he reaches Grandma's door. He steps in and sees Ethel, surrounded by bodies, blood smeared on her face, with her grandmother's partially-eaten corpse clutched in her hands.
The End.
Authenticity
After leaving the mental hospital, Ethel and her grandmother get in the car and have an extended conversation during the ensuing car ride. They are shown going directly home, with no detour, but the ride in the movie is far longer than such a ride would have taken in real life. At only half a mile, or six blocks, one wonders why they drove at all. But this was back in the 70s, when I assume parking was free and easy. Keep reading to the 'Sightseeing' section to see the exact locations of both the hospital and the house.
One thing that centered this movie in the Bay Area, for me, is Ethel reaching for that big carton of Berkeley Farms milk. Hella local!
But ultimately it wasn't Ethel's beloved food that seemed the most local for me but her beloved blood. Every low-budget horror movie has to have obviously fake (and likely edible) blood, and Criminally Insane is no exception. However, instead of resembling ketchup or corn syrup, the blood spilled in Ethel's house looked like oozing puddles of Taqueria Pancho Villa's award-winning volcan salsa. Or maybe I just really wanted a burrito while I was watching this...
Sightseeing
Note that while Criminally Insane was released in 1975, the movie was actually filmed in 1973, so I have elected to designate the film stills with that year, since they do, in a very literal sense, depict San Francisco in 1973.
Of course, central to the story is Ethel's home. It is the opening shot and where nearly all of the action unfolds. The green Victorian sits at 1924 Pine Street between Laguna and Octavia Streets. As you can see, both plant life and human development have expanded over the years, and contemporary apartment buildings now stand in for the vacant lot and gas station across from Ethel's house. One of Ethel's neighbors has since built a garage; another has since torn one down.
As with any post featuring private residences, please be respectful of residents and do not disturb them with your sightseeing!
Of course, central to the story is Ethel's home. It is the opening shot and where nearly all of the action unfolds. The green Victorian sits at 1924 Pine Street between Laguna and Octavia Streets. As you can see, both plant life and human development have expanded over the years, and contemporary apartment buildings now stand in for the vacant lot and gas station across from Ethel's house. One of Ethel's neighbors has since built a garage; another has since torn one down.
As with any post featuring private residences, please be respectful of residents and do not disturb them with your sightseeing!
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Ethel and Grandma are shown leaving the mental hospital after Ethel's discharge. This impressive brick building, which once stood on the northeast corner of Sacramento and Webster Streets, has since been torn down and replaced with a more contemporary building. All the buildings on this block are part of the California Pacific Medical Center campus, so it's entirely likely that the brick building served as a mental health institution at one point or another.
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Ethel's sister Rosalie is shown boozin' and floozin' down at Roddy's Bar (now a pizza joint) at 32 6th Street, on the corner of Stevenson, in the SoMa district. Although there has been a lot of change lately in San Francisco, there is some degree of comfort in the fact that this stretch of 6th Street has stayed resolutely sleazy.
During the murder, Ethel has visions of a cemetery where crypts, obelisks, and Celtic crosses abound in equal part with palm trees. Because Criminally Insane is such a low-budget cult classic, there's not a lot of information out there, and the only filming location IMDb could offer for the cemetery was Oakland. Although I walked all over Mountain View Cemetery, Oakland's largest, I couldn't find any of the locations used in the film, and have to conclude that scenes were filmed at one of Oakland's other, smaller cemeteries, which I did not have the chance to explore.
Ethel also has visions of herself luxuriating in a red satin gown and running past the pond at the Palace of Fine Arts. If you've read this blog before or seen, well, any movie ever set in San Francisco before, you've probably seen this location already. I sure have!
Ethel attempts to dispose of the body on a cliffside along the coastal highway north of the city. Given the lack of landmarks, it's difficult to pinpoint this exactly except to say it's far enough north that the Golden Gate Bridge cannot be seen when Ethel goes to check the cliff's edge. The nature of both Highway 1 and Conzelman Road along the Marin headlands coastline is one that demands alert and cautious driving, and so attempting to navigate it while simultaneously trying to look at pullouts with the intention to pull into one at the last moment was not high on my list of priorities. Based on what I can see, I believe this was filmed somewhere along the 2-3 mile section of Highway 1 between Stinson Beach and Muir Beach. But as always... I could be wrong.
Summary
Plot: 2/10- There's not a lot to go on, and Ethel's main selling point as a character is her size, which doesn't take the movie very far.
Authenticity: 10/10- It's hard not to be authentic when you're making a super low-budget film. The streets are your sets and passers-by are your extras.
Nilla wafers: A half-full box, remaining wafers are all stale.
Overall: 5/10- Its saving grace is that it's clearly a labor of love. Well, that and the fact that it's only an hour long.
Authenticity: 10/10- It's hard not to be authentic when you're making a super low-budget film. The streets are your sets and passers-by are your extras.
Nilla wafers: A half-full box, remaining wafers are all stale.
Overall: 5/10- Its saving grace is that it's clearly a labor of love. Well, that and the fact that it's only an hour long.
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