NMM Extra: The Fan Drinking Game!
- "Bobby" or "Bob" do not count; only "Bobbay"
- For ultimate San Francisco authenticity, Fernet Branca is recommended, but not required
Gil only coasts on this good feeling so far, though- when he arrives at work, he
But there's a problem- Gil's only
In a one-two punch, Gil has lost both his job and the privilege of spending time with his son. He clings ever more tenaciously to the one good thing left in his life: Bobby Rayburn and the San Francisco Giants.
After drying off and putting on
While throwing pitches, Gil asks Bobby about the end of his hitting slump. Bobby confides in Gil that he just "stopped caring," which is a very zen and likely effective way to approach an anxiety-inducing situation. Unfortunately, Gil interprets that to mean that Bobby has stopped caring about the game or worse, stopped caring about the fans. Gil begins to ramble while removing his jacket to reveal he is wearing Bobby's old number 11 jersey from the Braves. This sets Bobby's craydar alarms off at full blast and he wisely nopes the fuck out of there, politely wishing Gil a good night and a safe drive home over his shoulder as he all but sprints back into the beach house.
But the umpire calls him out. Bobby is enraged and begins to argue with the ump before realizing that Gil himself is under the mask. Players and cops scramble onto the field while the audience scrambles for cover from the rain. Gil entreaties Bobby to let him pitch "one last time," except he plans to do so with a knife instead of a ball. Police opt for shooting him dead instead. Sean is safely located and reunited with his father. The Giants go on to patiently wait another 14 years and then win the World Series.
Crazy Crab was taken out of commission at the end of the '84 season when two players for the San Diego Padres tackled him, breaking the character actor's back- as if having urine thrown at you by your own "fans" wasn't indignity enough. After that, the Giants would not venture into the mascot game again until 1997, when they introduced the infinitely more whole-assed Lou Seal to fans. In addition to having far broader appeal than a mentally unstable crustacean, Lou Seal is an undeniable call-back to San Francisco's first major league baseball team: the San Francisco Seals, who played in the city from 1903 to 1957.
Stranded as they were between the eras of Crazy Crab and Lou Seal, the movie's creators seem to have simply whipped up Tangerine Nightmare Otter for no conceivable purpose beyond forcing the audience to confront the soulless, shiny pupils of their own mortality.
Hey, remember Zubaz? The Fan does! This scene, when Gil emerges into Bobby's living room in The Pants, was nothing short of a revelation. A field of duotone grey stripes over which float triangles of black and turquoise- it's like instead of stepping into a pair of pants, Gil just crammed his legs into the opening credits of Saved by the Bell and wore them around like a fucking boss. Zubaz remain bafflingly popular amongst pro athletes even to this day, which is perhaps why Bobby Rayburn had them in his closet to begin with. Myself, though, I can remember the exact day Zubaz fell out of fashion: September 3, 1992, when Vice Principal Kennedy wore them on the first day of junior high school to show my peers and I that he was a cool guy.
After his morning commute across the Bay Bridge, Gil's van drives up California at Mason Streets. Moments later, Bobby's Hummer is shown on the same street, the tower of the ferry building looming behind it.
Although the 49ers, who began using Candlestick in 1970, used the stadium until 2014, the Giants jumped ship in 2000, when the infinitely better-situated Pacific Bell Park opened (later re-christened as SBC Park, now known as AT&T Park, future name TBD by corporate merger). In addition to being several miles closer (walkable, even) to downtown San Francisco, AT&T Park also enjoys milder weather, albeit still cold- this is San Francisco, after all. I definitely have a preference- I've been to more games at AT&T Park than I can recall, but I only made it to Candlestick Park once (1988, the Giants lost to the Braves, it was cold).
Authenticity: 6/10- Got an audition to be a TV20 KOFY dog; kept looking right instead of left towards the TV; blew it.
Gil: I remember when Mick recorded this in '78, we had a wild party afterwards.
Richie: Jason Pelligrino's dad says Mick Jagger's gay.
Gil: Yeah? Well, Jason Pelligrino's dad takes it up the ass.
Overall: 6/10- It's not a movie you'd watch more than once, but it's entertaining enough, if not always in the way it's meant to be entertaining.